I guess I should address why I haven't written. Writing had become very cathartic for me. It was a form of therapy that soothed my soul. Unfortunately, it also leaves me exposed and vulnerable. Not everyone intends to hurt you but sometimes it happens. I got hurt.
Part of PTSD is when you try to express yourself in words they can become jumbled. One word out of order and it takes on a whole different meaning than what you were trying to express. I admit I should proof read better. I posted something that was taken differently than what I meant it to say. It came across as me trying to cash in on someone else's pain. That is something I would never want to do. I would never want to minimize the struggle, journey or pain of another person. I triggered someone else. In a way I hurt them too. It wasn't my intention. I have had a hard time processing this whole ordeal. this is why I haven't written in 3 months.
I needed to protect my heart. I needed some time where I wasn't so vulnerable. I needed to fly under the radar. I hate that sometimes my anxiety silences my voice. I so want to advocate and educate on behalf of those surviving in silence. My heart is too big and open to sit and do nothing while people are hurting.
Here I am, back at the writing thing. My writing is sloppy and I forget commas, but my heart is in the words. I am sometimes messy, disorganized, broken and beautifully altered.
