ANXIETY.....those who deal with it on a regular basis realize it is irrational. Anxiety sometimes makes you react to things without thinking. It can come across as you being quiet and antisocial or angry and short tempered. It shows up in different ways for different people.
Once you have anxiety for a period of time you adopt coping mechanisms to deal with the onslaught of emotions and thoughts. Most times we develop these coping mechanisms without even realizing it. Most of these mechanisms are not healthy.
Things like nail biting, pulling out strands of hair, drinking, promiscuity, hyper focusing on others faults, self harm, destroying relationships, drug use are all unhealthy coping mechanisms. I tend to disassociate or bounce my knee. I drive people nuts with these behaviors, but they are not destructive.
My biggest coping place is my dog. He isn't a certified therapy dog, he isn't a service dog, but he is therapeutic for me. He and I have bonded to the point he recognizes when my anxiety is high. He will climb up me and lick my face. Sometimes he lays on my chest and lays his head on my face. He will lay across my shoulders and lick my face. Anything he can do to distract me and get me to pet him. Once I start petting him I calm down.
I have to admit some of my coping skills in the past have not been healthy. Sometimes the anxiety is like a coke bottle that has been shaken and I blow up in anger. I bite my nails. I have pulled out strands of hair one at a time not even realizing it. I am really working on a healthy way to deal with anxiety. I have made huge changes and steps towards to being healthier.
When someone sees my attachment to my dog and says "he's just a dog" I have to remember they do not get it. He is not just a dog, he has helped me go from surviving to thriving. I lived in survival mode for way too long. I am going to thrive with Ziggy by my side. He is my healthy way to cope. He is not a crutch but he does help me recognize my triggers and prepare for them. He is far from 'just a dog'.
Whatever your healthy coping looks like, be proud of that. If you run, run your heart out. If you sing, sing at the top of your lungs. Others will not understand how important it is to you and that's ok. It is not their journey. People might say things joking about how you cope. It hurts I know. They aren't trying to be hurtful just rest in the fact that you are doing something healthy for you. Hold your head high and cope whatever healthy way works for you. Anxiety doesn't get the last word.
